How Lent almost killed me

Caution: this story is both a bit embarrassing and crude, so read at your own risk (no one will heed this warning though).

As I mentioned before in the blog, I practiced Lent for the first time this year. I gave up sweets, which turned out to be alot harder than I thought. Lent ended this weekend, so I celebrated by loading up with some sweet treats. This must have overloaded my system, because today the world stopped. For the first time in my life I was constipated. Coincidentally, "consti-pate" used to be a nickname in college. For those of you who haven't been initiated in this prestigious club of survivors, let me state that it was one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I would break my toe with an axe again anyday over constipation. Worst, my wife was out of town, and my parents were traveling back from out of town. My parents were able to make it over to the house after about two hours of this torment and that is when I was asked the question that no man should ever hear.....
Mom: "Son, do you want me or your dad to give you the enema?"
Talk about the lesser of 2 evils.
So, here I am, almost 30 years old and my mother had to give me an enema.....twice.
That is when I knew I hit rock bottom. And that is how Lent almost killed me