Its been a big month at the Pate house.
This morning marked the end of an era. For the last year, my 14 year old cousin Kait has lived with us. Needless to say there have been a lot of adjustments for everyone involved. Kait is now reunited with her mom and her siblings (twin brother and little sister).
Now comes a new set of adjustments as we have now lost our live-in babysitter (ultra convenient) and get a guest room back (but only for the next 8 months or so).
To Kait:
We are blessed to have had the opportunity to invest into you for the last year. We have learned a lot from you. In a lot of ways, you have inadvertently been a great guinea pig in helping us be better parents for our own children. Now that we already have a year parenting a teenager under our belts, our kids don’t stand a chance of pulling anything over on us (yeah right). We hope you have learned some things from us…but just in case you need a reminder here is what we would leave you with:
Treat others with respect…it’s the best way to get respect in return
Look people in the eye
Your attitude is your choice
School is important. Its 10% IQ, and 90% work ethic (this applies to almost everything)
Compassion and selflessness are virtues to strive for, but they don’t come naturally
Relationships are the only thing we truly leave behind. Take good care of them.
Lastly we hope you never forget “Kait’s Creed” which we had you recite every week hoping that osmosis would eventually kick in.
You are a bright and beautiful girl that deserves, and should be, treated like a princess
It’s true....we promise
We love you
PPO3
As you can probably tell, I have been hard at work tweaking the blog lately.
1) Below every post you will see 8 icons that you can click on to give instant feedback. You can click on more than one if you like; you just can't click on the same one more than once. It’s fast, anonymous and easy. Try it.
2) Also, now you can get PPO3 e-mailed directly to your inbox. If you are interested, subscribe for PPO3 e-mails in the side column.
And here was my reaction
This is very early in the pregnancy so we don’t have a lot of info yet, but I guess you can figure out where you can keep up to date.
Our church does a Kids Safety Fair each year. It’s really done well. The SWAT team came out with full gear, the fire department brought in a smoke house and demonstrated how they disassemble a car, the coast guard was there as well, and a karate group was out there teaching self-defense. We had a great time, especially at the karate booth where they let us throw a melee of punches at a dummy for 10 seconds and measured our punching power. Here are some pics below
So think again before you mess with me my friends (and foes). I’m packing fists of fury.
Alright, next confession…….I am pretty sure I was the only one over the age of 8 that participated in this event. But at least I know that I could hold my own against a horde of 8 year olds.
Janelle and Caden accompanied “Chrandy” and the Padgetts (my brother’s in-laws) to Lake James state park last week. I haven’t been to Lake James yet, but it sounds like one of the premier state parks in NC.
Last weekend we went to my friend Josh’s for a cook-out. Josh is one of my oldest and best friends in the world. We have known each other since I can remember. Josh is cultured, well-traveled, well-read, intellectual, and an excellent cook. We always enjoy being invited over to his house because it inevitably will include: 1) great food, usually something that I have never had before (lamb burgers this time), 2) a fiery but civil discussion on God, church or politics (this time is was about the clash of church and culture), and 3) an introduction to some band or music that I haven’t heard before but that he thinks I will like…and he is usually right (this time it was The Bad Plus, a jazz combo that is pioneering new ground out of NY). All in all, a perfect night for me.
Everyone needs a “josh”…. a friend that challenges you and introduces you to new endeavors.
Last weekend Janelle and I went to a local family owned Italian restaurant that we love. We ordered our drinks and while perusing the menu, our ears perked up when we heard some crude banter in the kitchen from the cooks. It was an open kitchen, so their conversation penetrated into the dining hall with little impediment. The problem was that within a few minutes, they were using what I will call the “mother and father” of cuss words profusely. Within moments our waitress arrived at our table to take our order and I politely told her that we wouldn’t be eating there today. That the language gushing out of the kitchen was inappropriate. That there was a small child in the room, but frankly, I was offended and I am a grown man. Unless you work in a ship yard, it just not appropriate to use that kind of banter in the workplace, much less when it is in earshot of the customer. That I have worked at restaurants long enough to understand that you don’t make negative remarks about the cooks and stay and eat too. So we would be leaving because I am definitely not going to pay for that kind of experience….and we left. On our way out, some other customers expressed their thanks for saying something and I am glad we did.
Before I get on a high horse, let me confess that I am no stranger to using strong language. I like to think of words as different hues of paint on a large palette, and sometimes you just need a strong color to convey what you are trying to say (when heck, darn, and golly doesn’t quite do it), but there IS a time and place for it. When did that etiquette get tossed to the side? When did it become ok to throw around these harsh words anywhere and anytime you want?
One day the poop is going to hit the fan the next time I am at a gas station with my family and some punk kid pulls up blaring his rap music which seems to think that the “f bomb” is the only adjective in the English language.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Bob
And Bob loved maps, all kind of maps
Bob never asked for directions because he was never lost, ever. He always knew exactly where he was and where he was going…even his wife had to admit it sometimes….although begrudgingly.
....by plane... 
So Bob looked on all his maps, every last one,…..twice, but couldn’t find God anywhere
Bob was really troubled. For how would he find God without a map? Surely there must be a map to find Him…somewhere
Spending money is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us. But getting paid, what will compare with it? The way in which we worship money is really marvelous, considering that we so earnestly believe money to be the root of all evil, and that on no account can a rich man enter heaven. Ah! how cheerfully we consign ourselves to perdition.
Herman Melville – Moby Dick
The Message Version
My bike (one with pedals not a motor) has laid dormant in my basement since I moved back to Carolina. Once upon a time, I rode it almost every day, even to class. So before I could go off-roading with Chris, I needed to get some repairs done. After we both couldn’t figure out how to change the tire (handiness was never a virtue in our family) I had to sheepishly take it to a shop and have them do it for me. The bike tech changed it in 2 minutes (like watching a NASCAR pit crew) and it cost me $10 (labor cost, not materials). But I will have the last laugh; I studiously watched and can now do it myself.
Chris and I hit the trails soon after. The first 10 minutes were great. Then we got to the bottom and begrudgingly realized that the only way to go was up. We eagerly tacked the hills initially, and then hit “the wall”. We eventually just had to stop. We had both forgotten our water bottles, and I was so exacerbated that I could feel my heart beat through my hat. Of course by the time we worked our way back up, we had no idea where we were at, and more importantly where the van was (bad sense of direction, another thing that is a genetic defect in our family).
Chris and I learned some valuable lessons that day. 1) Our kids should be bike techs so they can put themselves through college 2) going downhill is only good when you have a way (preferable motorized) to get back up the hill 3) if you have a bad sense of direction get a GPS or a big bag of marshmallows
My parents (with Kait’s siblings in tow) and “Chrandy” came over last night for a little father’s day desert. At some point I convinced everyone (including my mom, Mandy and my wife….but not Caden, even though he may have been slightly better than my mom) to play in a 2-hand-touch football game in the backyard….and a tradition was started. Since dad and I were the 2 fathers in the crowd, we were the captains and picked the teams. As usual dad was a bit too aggressive on the field and Chris was the last one picked. Sorry that there are no pics, they would have been quite amusing.
Caden's 1st popsicle
He must have learned this by watching all the hispanics on their way to work
I created a new section in the side margin called "posts by category".
This will filter the blog to bring up only those posts for the category you choose.
Right now it only works back to May 07.
Note: "chrandy" refers to Chris and Mandy's tabloid name
I have never been a gun person. I don’t own a gun, never have. That may be partly because the first time I shot a gun was with my dad and he thought it would be a good idea to start with the most powerful handgun in the world, a 357 magnum. I didn’t have any illusions about being Dirty Harry after that. Shooting that behemoth gun as a young teenage instilled a healthy (maybe too healthy) fear of guns in me.
My conundrum is that although I am not entirely comfortable with a gun in my house, I don’t want to be without some protection in that worst case scenario either.
Ergo, my brother, who is a gun nut, is going to take me to a range soon to give me the basics and see if he can change my perspective. Will let you know how it goes…..
Rabbit trail: In his book Freakonomics, the author states that if you own both a gun and a backyard swimming pool, statistically the pool is about 100 times more likely to kill a child than the gun is. Chew on that one for a while
Bonus: How do you feel about guns in the home? Have any ideas for alternative forms of protection?
Janelle and I watched Blood Diamond last weekend and found it to be a very thoughtful and entertaining flick which surprisingly had a lot of substance. It does a great job in shedding light on the plight of children in Africa who are forced to be soldiers, and the corruption of the diamond industry. A friend of mine quipped that every guy should have his girlfriend to see this before he proposes.
I was originally intrigued by this movie because it takes place in Sierra Leone as I happen to have two coworkers from there. SL is a small country in Africa on the western rim that is about the size of South Carolina. After getting to know these guys, I did a little research. I was shocked when I realized that the life expectancy there is ~40 years…..again, 40 years. That is a hard one to wrestle with. For me that would mean that I could only reasonably expect to live another decade. For some of you reading this, you would already be on borrowed time and would be the village elders. My coworkers are both now past that mark and have changed their life expectancy simply by changing their latitude and longitude.
Another documentary about the child soldiers in Africa that has gained a lot of buzz is Invisible Children (we haven’t watch it yet, but look forward to it soon), which was made by some college students who spent some time in Uganda. This is still an independent film, so you can’t rent this at your local Blockbuster, but you can purchase it at their site (for ~ $20). The good thing about this film is that it has started a movement that not just tells about the tragedies but is working for change. Go to their site for more info.
Via: VideoSift
One of the most creative and artistic videos I have seen in a while. Take a look and you will see what I mean.
Today my brother and his wife are moving back up to Carolina.
Think of my brother as a poor man's John. (very, very poor)
Somehow he is tanner than I am which is only shocking because he has spent most of his life in my enormous shadow.
You can find Chris' greatest hits on the blog: here, here, here, here, and here.
Excited to have my brother back on a full-time basis. We have always got along really well, but have seldom been in the same place very long since I went to college.
So you will probably see alot more of him here in the near future.
For about 2 years now I have been playing in the church band. Over that 2 years my contribution to the band has slowly transitioned (due to others prodding mostly) from a sax player, to a sax player/back-up singer, to now being a lead singer occasionally. One of the biggest obstacles I have had to contend with may surprise you….I have no idea what to do with my hands now. See when I was a sax player, it was pretty obvious, but as I was called on to sing more (and play less), I now suddenly have idle hands that can’t hide behind a sax and suddenly I don’t know what to do with them and feel a bit awkward on stage.
This takes me back to my younger years when I was in a Christian rap group (I’ll wait as you try to grapple with that one)………and as if it was an omen to my current predicament, I just stood there like a scarecrow. Needless to say, I wasn’t very entertaining to watch.
This weekend will be different though, I will be rocking on the organ (atleast for 1 song anyway), finally something to do with my hands. Armed with my jazz piano lessons in college I have been “shedding” (that what we cal it in the biz) the song all week on my little Casio keyboard I’ve had since high school. I didn’t bother telling the rest of the band that I have never actually performed on the organ before, but we will just see if they can figure that out for themselves.
I was recently reminded once again about how much I take for granted. A guitarist friend of mine who plays at the church is losing his hearing and so he is forced to step away from playing in the band anymore. Imagine honing a craft for decades and then suddenly no longer able to do practice it anymore. But more than that, it would be so traumatic for me to lose my hearing. Not being able to play sax or sing anymore would break my heart, but it would just be the start. I would never hear Caden laugh anymore, I would eventually forget the genius that is Miles Davis and John Coltrane, every movie would be in subtitles, but for Janelle nothing would really change…she says I don’t listen to her anyway.
Maybe I am over-reacting, but I am a little peeved with the lack of observational skills my friends and co-workers have. I have been sporting a sweet beard for around 9 months, which I recently shaved off.
So far, my own parents didn’t notice, none of my co-workers mentioned it, and one friend actually said, “you had a beard?”
I am now pondering testing the limits of my co-workers/friends’ obliviousness by wearing a different fake mustache every day until someone notices. Alas, the choice of which to choose first: the magnum p.i., the earl, who knows…
If I was a woman, I would swear that they are all just looking at my chest.
Janelle has just started selling Premier Designs. Her first kick-off party was last night. I swear she invited over 30 people, but I think only about 5 are able to come. I am starting to see this whole venture as a cunning plan to build up her jewelry coffers. She conveniently needed to stock up enough bling-bling for her shows that could compare to that of royalty of a small country.
Seeing the brilliance of her plan, I am currently seeking a home-based business selling saxophones. Can’t pull the wool over my eyes for very long can you….
Glad to report that we got the test results back from Caden’s 1 year check-up and he officially doesn’t have lead poisoning as I previously feared. Read why here
A couple pics from "Family Night"
